Sunday, February 6, 2011

mYsElf n MyLifE

predicting something to be happen as we want might be disappointing...
because,,,, we can't predict it correctly.. i always thought that if i want it.. i have to sure that I'll get it..
but I realize that my mistake is i didn't try and put much effort for it... just being sure is not enough.. and its totally wont work..

unconsciously,, i left myself behind... i don't listen to myself.. i don't even care what myself had think, feel and what she want...
I always think about others, but not me...
i can cry for others.. but i refuse to cry for me...
i realize that I've been so cruel to myself...
I'm sorry... Aimi Amirah binti Abd Ajis
I'm really sorry...
I know i am ego.. I always said this to me;
"if you cry,, if there's tears even a little,, you should shame for yourself... you must be strong... you have to.. you're already a big girl.. and a big girl don't cry..."
and the consequence I've got is...i cant cry now.. even there's a hard day I've face.. I'm sure others might think that I'm strong and its good to not cry...
but believe me.. its hurt...
imagine that you're about to cry.. but you hold it until you cant cry anymore... and it happen often.. you would absolutely feels so hurt in your deep heart... and that.... i realize I've done a bad thing to myself.. I've torched myself... and believe me.. I'm facing the consequence...
* * * * * * *

whenever I'm at the top.. I'm sure that I'll going down anytime without giving me a warn..
and whenever I'm at the bottom,,, I've to be sure that I'll be at the top again...
that's how life continue..

I believe my God... My only one; ALLAH...
I know.. it must be a silver shining behind the storm...
and i live my life base on that... i won't feel disappointed... if i do so.. i would say "no. stop feeling disappointed... there must be a good thing happen after this.. believe Him..."
and then.. I'll put myself in a correct way.. by praying to Him.. asking for His guide..

my purpose for this entry is... i wanna say that...
be honest to yourself 
don't hurt yourself
believe ALLAH
and believe your destiny
don't forget to put an effort for every single dream you dream for.. 

 
 

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